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What it's like to be epileptic

athena1's picture

You meet god, even if you're an atheist.

One minute you're fine, and the next, you feel like you're disappearing. And in between, the past and present and future become one. You find a mirror to look in, because you're so sure you must be disappearing or passing into another dimension. And then, god. Pineapples are the true meaning of the world.. Next thing you know, you're staring at your ceiling. Maybe there's a mother or husband there, telling you "You just had another seizure." Or maybe, you're in the ER ("Do you know what year it is? Who is the president?" And you can't answer. You know it's a doctor, and you're being given a neurological evaluation, and you're failing the test) or you wake up in a weirdo pod that looks like a spaceship, carrying you to who knows where. Your first lucid thought is "So, I guess I'm being abducted by aliens or something?"

Waking up from a seizure in a place like that is wild! Pretty much all epileptics I know have had the same experience. Waking up in an ambulance is weird, weird, weird!

Then they take "seize" all the money in your bank account over the medical bills. Then you have no electricity. Then you're sitting in a tent in your living room, because it's January and cold as shit. It's warmer in the tent.

All hail the market-state, huh?

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athena1's picture
Submitted by athena1 on

There are 2 paths before me.
There's about a 50% (???) chance I'm about to become wealthy and have healthcare.
There's the roughly 50% chance that I'm going to stay poor and still not have healthcare and just get taxed over being too poor for healthcare.

I pray (hope? Since I'm an atheist?) my kids aren't epileptic, like my grandfather was and uncle is. There's also epilepsy from my husband's side. I've laid my husband's grandma down as she went into a seizure more than once, and held her hand as she woke up, whispering in her ear "It's ok. You just had a seizure. But it's ok."

So, the ACA.
If I become wealthy, it'll be great for me.
If I stay poor, I'll get taxed for being too poor for medical care, and literally locked into the underground economy forever.

Submitted by lambert on

I'm not sure I want to give advice that might prove disruptive (better advice would not have helped me, I don't think; the die was cast long ago). However, if the situation is at all fluid, I hope you have good support and possibly good advisors. People can get awfully funny about money.

Submitted by lambert on

"Hail Seizure!"

* * *

Thanks for this. It sounds like time travel in a science fiction novel, this waking up not knowing where you are or what the context is -- like falling through a hole in the world into another world. (Of course, I did that sort of thing when I was very young, but by choice and sounds very different.)

athena1's picture
Submitted by athena1 on

Yes. I'm an agnostic atheist. (I hold no active beliefs in gods or goddesses [theism], but heck if I know. I just don't see any evidence of gods that stand up to scrutiny.)

DCblogger's picture
Submitted by DCblogger on

Thank you for posting this. A friend of mine told me about a former boyfriend who went broke, got cancer, but somehow survived. So living without health insurance in America can be done.

Here is hoping for better times for us all.