The War on Terror is over.
Let's declare that the Global War on Terror is over. We're sick of it.
Everyone except Dick Cheney has acknowledged that the war on Iraq was a complete mistake based on fabricated evidence. Our mission to secure the oil there was a partial success and our 10 year occupation of the country has ensured their complete submission. The amount of radiation we've left behind by using nuclear waste in our bombs ensures that the country will be kept busy for the indefinite future handling health problems and deformities. So let's declare victory.
After 10 years in Afghanistan, Osama Bin Laden is dead and Al Queda has so few members I'm not sure why it's still called an organization. The Taliban have come roaring back and could probably take charge of the country and resume opium exports to the level pre-9/11. So let's just hand off this problem back to the folks Colin Powell gave so much foreign aid to back in 2000. We can declare victory there too.
On to the drone-bombed countries: Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Libya, Algeria (it's possible there are a couple others but these are the most frequent). I'm still a bit queasy on the idea that the AUMF authorized bombing in countries we aren't at war with. But what the heck, so far none of them have bombed us back so we're good. Let's declare that we've now done enough testing of remote piloted drone weaponry. Future testing can be carried out over Yucca Mountain (why not? No nukes are stored there.) We've shown the world that we assert the right to bomb anyone in any country at any time, with or without their permission. Global hegemony has been established. It's not clear that bombing any more weddings or card games will really do much more good, so mission accomplished.
The TSA. Need I say more? Let's save money by eliminating it completely right now. There is not now nor has there ever been any reason to illegally search every airport passenger - because the act of buying an airline ticket does not make a person a criminal suspect. Explain to me the logic that says people should be allowed to openly carry weapons anywhere they like but when we get to the airport we should be stripped of all personal items down to nail clippers and bottles of baby formula. I'm not clear how the inside of a plane is really that different than a crowded mall. Either way, what we know for certain is that the TSA has been completely ineffective in stopping any plane or airport bombings. Let's just declare that experiment over.
I'm ready to stop living in government-induced fear. Let's say it's over and try to get our representatives to face our declared reality.