The Sanity Offense
Congress is working hard so that only crazy people can't blow your head off with a legally purchased gun. If you don't suffer from a diagnosed mental illness, well, squeeze that trigger, old chum! Wham-blam-thank you not-crazy man!
Maybe Big Pharma will come up with some new drugs, like Triggex© or Blastricid© or Snipox™ so that more of us can fire away with a clean bill of mental health. Can you imagine the testimonials? Neither can I.
No matter: henceforth, we will all live in a land where only well-balanced, non-delusional individuals will have license to stalk and kill the rest of us. Surely the day will come when, after a hard grind of navigating your path through a world of awkward suspicion and woe, you'll heave a largish sigh of relief as parts of your head hit the pillow, knowing that whoever "done you in" may have been angry but was anything but mad!
And the newspaper reports! "He was a sociable fella, hung out with the neighbors..." Brr! Gives me the willies!
I expect to see these words scrawled on a lot of corporate desks next week:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SANE TO BLOW MY BRAINS ALL OVER MY DESK BUT IT HELPS!