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The Case For Belligerent Design

MJS's picture


"I'm not in a good mood," said the Belligerent Designer..."In fact," he continued, "I'm more than a little peeved."

If I had a guitar, and if I knew how to play it, I would sing you a song about the Mystery of it all. All I ask is that you pretend I have a guitar, and pretend that I know how to play it, and that somehow the lyrics you read here come alive...in tune...and sorta catchy...but not too...catchy.

The Case For Belligerent Design

Is it any wonder that we're lost
Is it any wonder that we're tossed
In the tempest of this life
In this play of pain and strife

Is it really hard to understand
We need to peek at the master's plan
We need to know what's in the mind
Of the creator of human kind

Is there any point in tempting fate
Don't you sense the temper and the hate
Pray for love but read the signs
Of Belligerent Design
Oh, so divine

(chorus)
He was pissed the day we were made
He had an attitude
He was ornery and irate
He gave no latitude
I think his period was late
How's that for gratitude
Face it dude
He was belligerent
He was petty and perverse
He was incensed a lot
He liked to yell, he liked to curse
He weren't no Lancelot
Just like a joy ride in a Hearse
It only made it worse
He was belligerent

They say the design's intelligent
You'd think that they could take a hint
Flattery never hits the mark
He's like that wino in the park

Say what you will, and say it loud
Say it alone or in a crowd
Join hands, and pray for bliss
The Creator is really pissed

So when you face a pesky fact
From some rude, scientific quack
Tell him you're heaven sent
And god's belligerent
Oh, so divine

(chorus)
He was pissed the day we were made
He had an attitude
He was ornery and irate
He gave no latitude
I think his period was late
How's that for gratitude
Face it dude
He was belligerent
He was petty and perverse
He was incensed a lot
He liked to yell, he liked to curse
He weren't no Lancelot
Just like a joy ride in a Hearse
It only made it worse
He was belligerent

Darwin, poor fool, is such a dodge
Drunk on the Beagle, his mind was fogged
As for Intelligent Design
They are too dumb to see the crime

We were conceived in a nasty snit
We were invented during a fit
The Creator was in such a mood
Let's face facts: he acted rude

And so he fashioned all mankind
When he was half out of his mind
You'd think he'd rest when bent
Instead, so belligerent
So belligerent
Ah, so divine

(chorus)
He was pissed the day we were made
He had an attitude
He was ornery and irate
He gave no latitude
I think his period was late
How's that for gratitude
Face it dude
He was belligerent
He was petty and perverse
He was incensed a lot
He liked to yell, he liked to curse
He weren't no Lancelot
Just like a joy ride in a Hearse
It only made it worse
He was belligerent

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Crossposted at General JC Christian's Glorious House of Worship.

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Comments

kelley b's picture
Submitted by kelley b on

So it is a party, it is a disco, and this all is the Overmind's idea of foolin' around?

God as no cosmic muffin, no hairy thunderer, just the red sword of Ares? Or the black sword of Elric, consuming all of creation?

Dammit, I'd rather do the hamster mescaline than the Sith Lord black tar.

No Hell below us
Above us, only sky

Ruth's picture
Submitted by Ruth on

Can the intelligent and kind spark be explained by a '(butter)fly in the works' then?

Ruth

Submitted by lambert on

Murder is a CRIME!
Unless it was done by a
Policeman or aristocrat
Know your rights

No authoritarians were tortured in the writing of this post.