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That Humming Sound You're Hearing?

It's the onrushing voice of DOOM, just as you suspected all along. From the AP Alabama news wire:

To the bafflement of insect experts, gigantic yellow jacket nests have started turning up in old barns, unoccupied houses, cars and underground cavities across the southern two-thirds of Alabama.

Specialists say it could be the result of a mild winter and drought conditions, or multiple queens forcing worker yellow jackets to enlarge their quarters so the queens will be in separate areas. But experts haven't determined exactly what's behind the surprisingly large nests.

How big are these nests? Some of them are the size of cars, Volkswagen Beetles at least. Some of them on the other hand ARE cars:

The largest nest Ray has inspected this year filled the interior of a weathered 1955 Chevrolet parked in a rural Elmore County barn. That nest was about the size of a tire in the rear floor seven weeks ago, but quickly spread to fill the entire vehicle, the property owner, Harry Coker, said. Four satellite nests around it have gotten into the eaves of the barn, about 300 yards from his home.

But there's no such thing as global warming, dammit. And if there were it would be just normal planetary fluctuations. You can't prove that burning hydrocarbon deposits that are the equivalent of millions of years' worth of forests in a mere century or two is having any impact at all.

And even if such a thing could be reasonably thought to have happened, to do anything whatever to stop making the situation worse as fast as we possibly can would wreck our economy, which proves that you're a communist. But we're happy to keep talking about the matter, because it drowns out that humming sound you're hearing from the southern horizon....

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