I see a screenplay blooming. Dealing with a favorite theme: time travel. You now think you’ll steal this zeitgeisty gem from me, but you cannot because in the future, I have already finished it, and am mailing it to myself yesterday in a walnut sealed in Presidential earwax and pressurized to resist even election-year terror alerts.

OUR TALE BEGINS with a man who desperately seeks an answer to his deepest, heart-sprung questions, headed up by the quintessential and Googlicious How Do I Get Rid of the Mexicans? You see, our protagonist feels his very nation is under dire attack by the filthy mongrel hordes from the South, those who bark that most Arrogant and Sickening of Languages—Español, those who dare to settle into his beautiful nation, hellbent on storming the kitchens and fields and meatpacking plants and canning plants and steel factories or to otherwise seek to implement that most foul of Mexican behaviors: the trading of work for pay.  Read more 

Now that Governor Mitt Romney has given his speech on his much maligned (by the generic Republican voter) fault - Mormonism, might I suggest some topics for the other Republican candidates?

Rudy Giuliani: Fidelity

Fred Thompson: Narcolepsy

Tom Tancredo: Xenophobia

John McCain: Anger Managment

Duncan Hunter: Obscurity

Ron Paul: Over Simplicity

Mike Huckabee: Rapture Ministry

What a great field of candidates they have!

It’s all out in the open, now, isn’t it? No more Atwater-style coded language. No more dog whistles. WaPo:

Such were the scheduling conflicts that left the lecterns for the leading candidates for the Republican presidential nomination empty at what was billed as the first GOP debate tailored to the concerns of black voters, held last night at Morgan State University in Baltimore.

Forced pregnancy loon Brownback showed up, as did the much more dangerous Huckabee (they’ll never nominate him, fortunately).

But Tooliani? Willard? Poor old John McCain? Much too busy doing something that is far more important them than black voters:  Read more