humor

Funny Anecdote at the Grocery Store

Of course this was plastered to a gargantuan, gas-guzzling SUV. I couldn’t help but laugh and take a shot. Feel free to leave similar ones here if you come across them. 0829141513

If I hadn’t had to run home, I think I would’ve stayed to ask the driver if he (I just assume it was a man) had noticed the defacing. It’s probably for the best; I don’t really have time to get into random fights just now.

Mocking Maureen Dowd Gives Me Deep and Lasting Joy

Environmentalists, social activists, feminists, atheists, political junkies… our modern Swifts and Voltaires. George Carlin blended anger and satire to blissful perfection, Grist Magazine is doing it for environmentalism, and Melissa McEwan does it for sexism and racism at Shakesville.

As the Obama euphoria fades, expect much more of this, from 23/6:

The Reader’s Guide to Maureen Dowd  Read more 

George Carlin - RIP

This really makes me sad. I am a huge fan of George Carlin. I will miss his curmudgeonly attitude, his lack of patience for religious stupidity and wonderful use of all the subtleties and absurdities of the English language to unveil our social ills.  Read more 

The DNC's Perfectly Lovely Ladies' Outreach

Riverdaughter’s post today is a hilarious must-read.

Don’t know about you guys, but I’m fine with feminist women using stereotype-based humor like this; some of you may disagree. Similarly, I give far more latitude to men, GLBTs, ethnic, racial and religious groups to satirize their own groups. I freely state I’d be pissed to read something similar on Olbermann’s blog. Riverdaughter’s earned the right to speak so; KO hasn’t. Simple. The whines I often hear about this “double standard” seem either disingenuous or humanity-bereft; I’m never sure which it is.

The US Senate’s Ladies Auxilliary met on Tuesday to discuss women’s issues… [and] finished with a demonstration on scrapbooking campaign memorabilia.

In attendance were Senators Diane Feinstein (CA), Barbara Mikulski (MD), Amy Klobuchar (MN) and Barbara Boxer (CA).  Read more 

"Hit That Fuckin Clown!" Today's Mortgage Industry News

H/t MS. Just for shits and giggles, check this out. Heh, it seems Corrente isn’t the only place to go for naughty, spicy language about today’s economy:

GMAC Bank is suing mortgage company HTFC for selling improperly secured loans, which lead to the hilariously blue and aggressive deposition from HTFC CEO Aron Wider. Wider dropped the f-bomb 73 times, frustrating the opposing counsel’s attempts to get him to answer difficult questions like “Where are you currently employed?” Some of the more colorful and creative expletives from the testimony of Mr. Wider, who, according to his company website, serves as company Coprorate Information [sic], CEO / Senior Underwriter, and Radio Engineer, inside…

Q: My question is where are you currently employed.
A: I’ m not. I just told [you] I work for free.
Q: OK. You’re not employed by the HTFC Corporation?
A: Hit That Fuckin’ Clown. That’s what it means.  Read more 

Chris Rock is Funny

Because life without humor is like sushine without warmth:

I had the pleasure of watching Chris Rock perform live stand up this New Year’s Eve at Madison Square Garden. It was raunchy and ridiculously politically incorrect, but also entertaining as hell. Rock was on fire and he did a lot of really strong topical material about the electoral process, the top contenders, and a lot of other major 2007 stories. Here are a few highlights:

On Elections: “Why would they have Election Day on a Tuesday? Would you hold a party on a Tuesday? No, cause you want people to come. They obviously don’t want you showing up.”

On Bush: “He’s made it hard for a white man to run for president. People are saying, ’After Bush, I’m not sure we can take another chance on a white guy.”

“He just doesn’t give a fuck about you. In the history of not giving a fuck no one has ever given less of a fuck.”  Read more 

Saturday Funnies

namor

Seeing as how our national political discourse is reduced to the level of the schoolyard taunt, in that spirit I offer you this homofascinated essay on why corporate America sucks only slightly more than old dweeb comic book writer America. Beevis voice She said “suck.” Heh.  Read more 

Tuesday Pterosaur Blogging

It’s most likely a spoof, but I thought it was funny:

Project Pterosaur Protocols
Our first and foremost goal is to serve the Lord and be prayerful in our actions.

Pterosaurs are not to be harmed, nor are their colonies to be unduly disrupted, so as to preserve these evidences for future generations.

If we find pterodactyloids that are too large to capture and bring back unharmed, we will instead take eggs and/or photos.

Ethnological evidences of latent Biblical knowledge in native cultures from before the Tower of Babel incident should be recorded for use in study and museum displays.  Read more 

Jean-Luc vs. Annakin Skywalker

Because it can’t be about politics all the time. Not really ubergeek, seeing as how the subjects are so mainstream, but still, a clever and amusing use of you tube.  Read more 

Wes Clark Jr: Ode to the RW Blogosphere

Not Safe for work, but laugh out loud funny.  Read more 

Academic Haiku

This is cute. It’s a contest to make your dissertation/paper title into a haiku poem. My favorite:

I am an expert.
I am man, you are woman.
I exaggerate.

“Differences in Actual and Perceived Online Skills: The Role of Gender”  Read more 

More MLK Day Fun: Universal Edition

Revised:

The reason this country lacks universal voting rights is that progressive reformers have been unwilling to sacrifice a just, decent, affordable, humane system for a merely universal one. Universality, after all, is easy. Widespread voting access and actual enumeration are not. And demanding a perfect system is easy. But as Presidents Roosevelt, Truman, Johnson, Kennedy and Nixon have found, achieving such a system is not. Now, the argument over which type of system is the most worthwhile, and which sort the most possible, is a worthy one, and it’s perfectly defensible to argue — as Stoller does — for nationalized voting rights in that context. But to accuse Thurman, Helms, Byrd and so many others who’ve devoted their lives to the study and struggle of this issue “unserious” because they don’t believe we’ll dissolve the states rights industry in a single legislative penstroke is profoundly, well, unserious.  Read more 

Babies of Terror

Titter. I’ll have to go get a ski mask. The game would make a nice gift, for those of you looking for gift ideas. They even have a blog.

The Other ISG

Hilarious:


Just days after the Iraq Study Group issued their downbeat assessment of the war on Iraq, Iraqi insurgents announced that they have formed their own study group and have released their own report, one that offers a much rosier picture of the Iraqi conflict.

The Insurgents Study Group, a collection of ten elder insurgents charged with the duty of assessing the war from the insurgents’ point of view, today issued a 147-page report which became an instant bestseller among insurgent readers across Iraq.

“The war in Iraq is going great and is improving every day,” the Insurgents Study Group’s report begins.

In contrast to the Iraq Study Group’s report, which advocates that the United States and its allies change their strategy in Iraq, the Insurgents Study Group recommends “not changing a thing.”

“As insurgents, our strategy could be summarized in three words,” the report concludes. “Stay the course.”  Read more 

The Funniest Political YouTube EVAH!!!1!

No. Really. This is not safe for work. But you will laugh out loud. Via Best Liberal Blog nominees at Team BIO, comes (ahem, ack, erm) this essential video. Hahahahahahahah.

I can’t wait for the gay sequel. “I’m going to breach your Southern Border.” Hohohoho.  Read more 

Naughty Intertube Fun with Christianists

I suppose there are a million sites like this; I don’t spend much time looking at humor and culture websites. But I thought this one was quite funny:

The most important question we can ask about God: Why won’t God heal amputees?

What are we seeing here? It is not that God sometimes answers the prayers of amputees, and sometimes does not. Instead, in this situation there is a very clear line. God never answers the prayers of amputees. It would appear, to an unbiased observer, that God is singling out amputees and purposefully ignoring them.  Read more 

Ah, the hearty happy humor of prison rape!

The incarceration-industrial complex is one of those subjects so big as to tempt one to avoid it, daunted by the question of where to even start. Fortunately some people are braver than I am and stand up for the locked up. They are not amused by a new comedy about to hit theaters. From the Richmond VA Times Dispatch:

Prisoner advocates are protesting a new film that makes light of what an expert has called one of the major untreated human-rights abuses in America today.  Read more 

Borat Not So Funny to Russians

But Bambi is ok, right? Remind me to skip the matinee in Moscow. This is a “funny” post, because Borat is a sensation and all that, but as Antony reminds us:

After the murder of journalist Anna Politkovskaya and poisoning of a former Russian spy, the increasingly authoritarian reign of Vladimir Putin is cause for concern.

Russia: not getting better. Don’t forget that; they have oil, nukes, and crazies, just like we do.

Tales of the Christ-Deprogrammed

For those who don’t get the reference, it relates to the award-winning classic series from the mighty Rude Pundit, brilliantly titled “Tales of the Christ-weary.” If you’ve not read them, I encourage you to do so.

Today, we find the Financially Savvy Atheist requesting stories about how people became agnostic or atheist, and I look forward to the final “best of” post. Go now and add your own.  Read more 

Today's Moment in Funny

LOL!

But if I were Robert Palmer, I’d be pissed. Ruining a classic video like that is almost a crime. Almost.

Friends Don't Let Friends Drink and Post

While some of you may have heard that the Blogosphere is controlled by the uberfascist sushi eating rabid Lambmaster Kos, here at Corrente, our first loyalty will be to His Majesty of the Grey Turtleneck, may he rule forever, amen. Who has proven once again why we’ll never be anything more than a bunch of kids in pajamas typing fever induced swampiness from parental basements in flyover land. How will we every get Rahm to take us seriously? Clearly, Atrios, you’re killing the party.  Read more 

For Those Who Avoid Hard Drugs

This is a really good substitute. This is a “for junkies only” blogging post, but seriously- someone explain to me how to write the virus that made this mess. And it’s only over there, the rest of the helloscum universe seems to be working fine. Teach you to go to back to back conferences without feeding the pets, Duncan.