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Sunday evening Christianist porn blogging

So, have you watched it? In a way, this video might as well be porn; the same skanky decor; the same plot that's only an excuse for a licensed, consequence-free orgy--except, given the Christianist context, it's all about catharsis through rage and destruction, not release through fucking.

For those who can't play it:

An Office Space-guy is surfing the net, sees a "X-X-X Girls Girls Girls X-X-X" pop-up on his computer, reels back in horror, grabs--Will Doctor Freud please pick up the white courtesy phone?--a golf-club, and demolishes his computer; ripping the innards out of the computer is lovingly, not to say graphically, illustrated; the flailing and smashing and tearing goes on for several minutes. At the climax, the guy's boss appears, hands him a cup of coffee, and asks "Porn?" And the guy says "Porn."

Which would be, I suppose, the money shot. Funny how the male authority figure who comes in at the end hands the guy some hot liquid isn't it? Doctor Freud? But perhaps I associate too freely.

I'd like to focus on the bizarre theology of the video:

It closes on a sticky note posted on the door in the guy's office, on which has been written Matthew 18:9:

And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

Right, then. But the guy isn't plucking out his own eye; he's smashing his boss's computer!

And that's really what's wrong with the whole Christianist project, isn't it? Whatever offends their tribal mores has to be smashed, even if what offends has nothing to do with their own putatively immortal souls, and everything to do with some aspect of modernity they feel out of control about.

Really, wouldn't it be simpler for the Christianists--and a lot better for business--if they could be taught that pop-ups can be turned off, that sites can be blocked, and that the IT guys set up a porn filter?

What's wrong with these people? It's almost like the destruction is the whole point, isn't it?

NOTE Via Benedict, the married man.

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MJS's picture
Submitted by MJS on

Shouldn't he just slice off his nads? He could pop one of those babies out, lest it offend.

The cup of joe at the end is precious. Cream?


Lurch's picture
Submitted by Lurch on

I noticed the guy's candy jar contained only black and white pieces which is what I guess you'd expect for a judgmental eliminationist. Anything gray must be destroyed.

It was all OK, mostly, until I saw the line from Bible. That's when it became the most ridiculous thing I've seen in forever. WHAT THE FUCK? Do they SERIOUSLY mean that if your eye causes you to sin you should gouge it out? Especially after watching this computer destruction porn? They're INSANE!

DeSwiss's picture
Submitted by DeSwiss on

If thy eye offend thee, pluck it out. And if your gonads offend you when you accidently pull up porn on your computer at work, you can leave those alone and take it out by beating, trashing, and jumping up and down on the sucker until its nothing but a wisp of smoke.

So saith the LORD.

Do it for God's sake, my children.....

I'm telling ya, all these religionist people are in dire need of therapy. Intensive therapy. For a long time. And heavy on the Thorazine while we're at it.....

Submitted by [Please enter a... (not verified) on

All I saw in that video was a (sexually)frustrated man who wasn't educated enough to calmly do anything about his problem.
In essence, I saw a stone age man, which happened to put emphasis on the fact that he is christian.
Not really a convincing argument for me to gouge out my eye, but rather to smart up and if I read the bible, realize that it's a scripture that's intended to be interpeted all the way. nothing in the bible shall be taken literally, but should be thought about and have the underlying meaning extracted and used.

Submitted by [Please enter a... (not verified) on

An ordinary person will see porn on the internet, (accidentally or not), shrug and move on with their lives. A fundie will seen porn on the internet and get angry, look for more porn and get outraged, look for more porn and call their preacher to complain, look for gay porn and write a letter to the newspaper, look for gay bondage porn and give an interview on local television, look for sadomasochistic incestuous beastiality porn...

FeralLiberal's picture
Submitted by FeralLiberal on

Like in "The Evil Dead II"?

And I'd like to see a defense argument in court using that "logic".

"Yes, my client raped that woman, but his eye made him do it. Since he subsequently gouged it out, he's no longer a danger to society."

Submitted by [Please enter a... (not verified) on

If Thy Brain Offend Thee- Simply pull out the cork and let it ooze out onto the carpet you demented freak!