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Single-payer advocate meets the progressive blogosphere

vastleft's picture

[In view of the ongoing blogosphere-wide zombie infestation, I'm belatedly cross-posting this November, 2009 item from my blog.]

INT. OFFICE -- DAY

An OFFICIOUS GENTLEMAN sits at a desk and regards a VISITOR'S somewhat awkward entrance. An empty chair faces the desk.

VISITOR

Hello, is this the, uh... progressive blogosphere?

A-LIST BLOGGER

Oh, yes indeed! In fact, this is the A-list of the selfsame!

VISITOR

Ah, very good! Very good.

(sits)

I had some questions.

A-LIST BLOGGER

Have you donated to our campaign, Progressively Progressive Progressives for (mumbles)?

VISITOR

Sorry, I, uh... didn't quite catch that last part....

A-LIST BLOGGER

Oh, no bother. Forget I mentioned it. Now, with what may I help you?

VISTOR

Well, I'm interested in single-payer healthcare reform!

A-LIST BLOGGER

"Public option," wonderful, wonderful. Have you donated --

VISITOR

No, I said "single payer." Remember when the President and Congress said they'd have an open and transparent process that considered all options? Naturally, I assumed the progressive blogosphere...

A-LIST BLOGGER

(whistles an aimless, singsong tune)

VISITOR

Pardon?

A-LIST BLOGGER

Were you saying something? You wanted to donate, yes?

VISITOR

No, I don't want to donate, I wanted to ask about --

A-LIST BLOGGER

What? You don't donate to anything?

VISITOR

Oh, yes. To many lesser-known bloggers, some political campaigns, micro-lending, Habitat for --

A-LIST BLOGGER

Fine! Be that way. Stingy git!

VISITOR

Anyway, about that "public option"...

A-LIST BLOGGER

Yes!

VISITOR

How many people will have access to it?
(long, uncomfortable pause)
Hello?

(pause)

Look, I thought this was the progressive blogosphere!

A-LIST BLOGGER

Oh, quite right! Finest in the land! Uncontaminated by "single payer" talk, innit?

VISITOR

I thought this was where people came to discuss progressive issues.

A-LIST BLOGGER

Bloody purist!

VISITOR

Isn't this where liberals go to debate --

A-LIST BLOGGER

Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted a debate. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, no.

You see, I thought you wanted to donate! Are you sure you won't... a little?

VISITOR

So, can we have that debate now?

A-LIST BLOGGER

Sorry, too late. It's already been decided. "Public option," very good. Well done! That settles it.

VISITOR

When was it decided?

A-LIST BLOGGER

Just then. Good day!

VISITOR

Well, who decided it?

A-LIST BLOGGER

Oh, our best and brightest did. Our very best, I'll have you know. Nothing else was feasible, believe you me! 'Tis a fair blogosphere. Leave a donation, thank you!

VISITOR

(Gets up, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it over)

A-LIST BLOGGER

That's a good lad, be on your way.

VISITOR

(On the way out, turns toward the camera)
And to think, before netroots, I'd wouldn't have been able to make a difference. Thank you, progressive blogosphere!

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ntoddpax's picture
Submitted by ntoddpax on

So which A-list blog purged you?

ntoddpax's picture
Submitted by ntoddpax on

BTW, I still am amazed when you bring up something like HR676 to the "pass the fucking thing now we're desperate" crowd, they pat you on the head an explain it would never happen in this political climate.

Of course not, grasshopper. The Dems don't have an overwhelming majority, so stop agitating and just lie down on the road so this here bus can run you over.

*tips cap*