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Rapture open post

LostClown's picture
Submitted by LostClown on Sat, 05/21/2011 - 12:42am
Tags: 
the rapture

If you're still here that is, and remember:

Elections Canada threatens $25K fine for Canadians tweeting Rapture results from Atlantic before rest of us have a chance to die.

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gizzardboy's picture
Submitted by gizzardboy on

Mortaljive used to post here and this is the chorus from a poem of his named Naked Chistians Flying Up:

Naked Christians go to heaven
You can see it in their smiles
Naked Christians into heaven
Clothing left behind in piles
Naked Christians flying up
Up above the world so high
If you’re modest, you’re in trouble
Grab your nethers when you fly

Full poem at http://mortaljive.blogspot.com/2005/07/n...

Then there is Henry E. Panky's musings on what post-Rapture life will be like for those of us left behind: http://www.henrypanky.com/dubious.htm

And more recently, the Dependable Renegade offers this:
http://www.dependablerenegade.com/depend...

There are more, but those of some of my favorites.

LostClown's picture
Submitted by LostClown on

BECAUSE OF CONSTRUCTION, some parts of the MIDWEST could be facing up to a Two Hour Delay for the #RAPTURE TOMORROW, tune to 1600AM for info
(so true for Chicago)

When all is said and done, at least Tom Cruise and John Travolta will still have each other tomorrow….

We are sorry to inform you that BERT is staying here and ERNIE is coming with us…. we are also leaving you ELMO

Submitted by admin_hipparchia on

BECAUSE OF CONSTRUCTION, some parts of the MIDWEST could be facing up to a Two Hour Delay for the #RAPTURE TOMORROW, tune to 1600AM for info

that's one of my favorites too.

LostClown's picture
Submitted by LostClown on

planning on leaving piles of clothes around town tomorrow incase the rapture doesn't happen?

Submitted by admin_hipparchia on

what i would have done had i won the lottery - bought up some old cars, put those in case of rapture, this car will be unmanned bumper stickers on them, and left those around town...

LostClown's picture
Submitted by LostClown on

What else is the explanation?

LostClown's picture
Submitted by LostClown on

Haven't you been reading my announcements on the side panel about my radio show?

*hmph* Now I'm hurt. *flounce*

(hehehee)

lambert's picture
Submitted by lambert on

Alrighty then:

As the day drew nearer, followers reported that donations grew, allowing Family Radio to spend millions on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the doomsday message. In 2009, the nonprofit reported in IRS filings that it received $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks or other publicly traded securities.

So, did they cash it all in today? If not, why not?

Bryan's picture
Submitted by Bryan on

One might think that tomorrow it will be discovered that the money, the board of directors, and several RVs are missing.

Must have been the "Rapture".

coyotecreek's picture
Submitted by coyotecreek on

I wouldn't doubt that for a minute.

lizpolaris's picture
Submitted by lizpolaris on

Out of 6 billion people on the planet, that's .003 %. Assuming the righteous are spread all over and among all age groups, who can say that the rapture didn't happen yesterday? It's just that the smug holy rollers who thought they'd be going are sinners like the rest of us. They seem to be having trouble coming to grips with that.

Turlock