Hey! Rush Limbaugh! This one’s for you!

Phony Soldiers Rag

I was at the mall about a week ago
kicking it with some friends
a recruiter came up to me
and told me of a cool new trend
he said, sign up boy, and you will find
the army has changed a lot
this ain’t your grandmother’s army
this one is fucking hot
see, you do not have to be real
to put on a uniform
fake as a three dollar bill
is now the fighting norm
so I smiled a big, fake smile
and pretended that I cared
I made like I had signed up
and then walked right out of there
the recruiter, he just nodded
he had seen right through my ruse
we got you now, phony soldier
your neck is in the noose
suddenly enlisted
to fight in a liar’s war
they knew a fake when they saw one
and they always wanted more
so today I am pretending
to die from an IED
I am a phony soldier
my country ’tis of thee

(chorus)
a fat man on the radio
a pimple on the devil’s ass
such a creep
made me weep
a coward without any class
he sits in judgement every day
on the rest of America
he’s a millionaire
without a care
and the world can kiss his ass

I went to the cemetery
and looked at all the graves
viet vets who lost their bets
who were told that Jesus saves
the graves, they seemed real enough
the stones, so cold to the touch
I asked them what they thought of Rush
their silence said “not much”
I looked upon the other graves
World Wars One and also Two
soldiers who had died fighting
perhaps they held a clue
how does one know reality?
I asked the weeping trees
what’s real is underneath the grass
below the widow’s knees
is there anyone who wonders
is there anyone who knows
why the worst of America
has a radio fucking show

(chorus)
a fat man on the radio
a pimple on the devil’s ass
such a creep
made me weep
a coward without any class
he sits in judgement every day
on the rest of America
he’s a millionaire
without a care
and the world can kiss his ass

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