Obama-admin application requires you to include embarrassing e-mails, blog posts, your Facebook link, and more
Killing the Fourth Amendment and accountability for its violations (after promising to filibuster to protect it) was certainly change we can believe in, but it just wasn't enough, was it?
Even if it's legal to spy on everyone, every way, all the time, for whatever reason, it's just so damn time-consuming. And perhaps you don't have access to enough such resources as a sitting Senator, while you face a two-month wait for the mohel who will trim the "elect" off of President-elect.
But not to worry. In this market, and for the chance to work in a transcendent movement, you can ask applicants just about anything.
Requirements for applying for a job with the Obama administration include submitting e-mails you sent and blog posts you wrote that might be considered "embarrassing" to the new Prez, and much, much more.
That e-mail you sent to Zak about the three-way you had in Schenectady? Make sure you print out the whole thread and send it in, including the part where you wonder about those sores on your manhood. Of course, you didn't call it "manhood" in the e-mail. While those sores turned out to be nothing, that e-mail's apparently going to haunt you for the rest of your life. And no fair holding it back, because the part where you found out Ashley's friend Kim was a guy, someone might find that embarrassing, so you owe it to the 44th President.
That blog post you wrote under some pretentious Greek name or other, where you called Obama a weasel for changing his position on campaign-financing? Stand and deliver, buddy. Not to worry, "weasel" isn't that bad, is it? But, still, if you'd only thought to censor yourself! What the hell were you thinking?
Before you settled on "Heroicus," you used to post as "Bongmeister420." Inquiring minds want to know:
The application also asks applicants to “please list all aliases or ‘handles’ you have used to communicate on the Internet.”
Hmm, maybe there were a couple of times when you tweeted the answer to "what are you doing?" that perhaps you just shouldn't have said anything.
Oh, and make sure you give your Facebook page a good scrub, since you need to send them the link to it. Wouldn't want those Halloween pix to, y'know, embarrass anybody.
When you don't get the job, maybe it wasn't any of those awkward, and entirely germane, revelations that ruined it. After all, you had to tell them about your sister's gun. Yeah, it makes her feel safer walking home at night, but how dare she complicate your application like that!
Let us all wish we'd heeded the words of the great American, Ari Fleischer: "they're reminders to all Americans that they need to watch what they say, watch what they do. This is not a time for remarks like that; there never is."
NOTE: I see that Lambert already posted on this topic. Early birds and all that.