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Playmobil Goes Beyond Snark

chicago dyke's picture

Maybe I've missed it around the blogosphere, but seeing as I have four lil nieces and nephews with more on the way, I'm very happy to have found the perfect War on Xmas gift for them, albeit a tad early this year. The reader reviews alone are worth the clickthru. Go for it, Correntians! Be creative- come up with your own New Order for Toddlers Ideas and pitch them to Lego/Playmobil; it's not like there are so many jobs for all us Lucky Duckies that we've got better things to do with our time. Who knows? You could be the next subversive to infect the young, all across the Homeland! I'm still snickering over "deadly nail file."

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Aeryl's picture
Submitted by Aeryl on

Actually, it's Playmobil, no LEGO.

But yeah, Jesus' General has a review on there. Funnier though, are the "Customers who viewed this, also viewed..." since it has, "The Bush Boom, How an Underestimated President Fixed a Broken Economy", found here.


It's like The Onion for online shopping.

Aeryl's picture
Submitted by Aeryl on

I feel like a feminist traitor, because my daughter has Barbie dolls(but no Bratz, I draw the line at Bratz). I try real hard to NOT indoctrinate my daughter, into my beliefs. I want her to grow into her own beliefs, because though she shares my DNA, she is not an extension of myself.

But then I see that, and I just throw my fucking hands up. Because here are parents who are actively indoctrinating their kids into the War on Terror. Ugh.

They also have a Police Checkpoint

What happened to the farms, with the barns that mooed. Or the zoos. We hafta do Frickin' CHECKPOINTS. What next, Playmobil Bomb Squad, with dolls that have the mirrors they put under your cars? God, and I thought GI Joes were blatant.


chicago dyke's picture
Submitted by chicago dyke on

i had a whole mess of barbie dolls. Malibu, her friend Barbie "Trixie" or whatever, "black" barbie, a baby Barbie, even a Princess Leah with metal in her hair to keep it in bun shape.

you know what sis and i played with them, most regularly as a game?

Underwater Telepathic Amazon Lesbian Barbie-Wars! in which they were opposed, in an autonomous collective of syndicalist-anarchist witches, to the lone Ken doll we owned. of course our progressive-telepathic-mermaid coalition won, every time.

the doll isn't the problem. sounds like you're going to do just fine, and indoctrinate your children with proper progressive values. in the right hands, all dolls and toys can be weapons for independent, free thought and progressive values.

Valhalla's picture
Submitted by Valhalla on

The cost had me choking (obviously, I haven't had to buy kids' toys for a while). Then the reader reviews had me choking with laughter.

dr sardonicus's picture
Submitted by dr sardonicus on

Point being, this shit's been going on forever. How you raise your kids is more important than the toys you give them.

bringiton's picture
Submitted by bringiton on

Children like to imitate what they see around them in the adult world, and they will do it whether you buy them expensive toys or they only have cardboard boxes and sticks and stones. I don't know that modern toys are any worse than what kids will come up with on their own, and this kind of stuff is no worse and arguably better than low-tech cowboys and Indians (a la John Wayne movie stereotypes) or war games (complete with massive slaughter of Japs and Jerrys and Gooks) that were the staple of my childhood.

Depends, I suppose, in how the toy is presented. This security checkpoint could be used to teach children that the metal detection systems cannot register anything but ferrous metals, so knife blades made from bronze or ceramic or plastic will pass right through. As for the liquid restrictions, it is important for them to realize that 3 oz of nitroglycerin is quite sufficient to blow the hell out of a 747.

Plenty of opportunity left for the enterprising terrorist. All the inconvenience of TSA isn't actually designed to catch them; it is meant to reassure a nervous public, to provide a veneer of perceived safety through shared elaborate inconvenience. People generally feel better when something complex and inscrutable is being done; they are less concerned that it actually be effective.

Airport screening is a massive experiment in the placebo effect. Those who believe it is working feel a great deal better than those of us who know it is a fraud. Sometimes, mostly as I fasten my seatbelt, I wonder who is better off.