Happy Pride Month, America!
That's the gayest flower I cultivate that's blooming right now, and I think it's perfect for Pride month. For those of you that don't know, this month is when many/most "Gay Pride" celebrations take place around America in cities large and small. Here's one page out of many, filled with dates for parades, parties, and events that shouldn't be missed. Unless you were like me this year, and so overwhelmed with the garden and planting that I totally forgot about our local Pride until the Monday after. And I didn't even go to the afterparty, dammit. Oh well.
But I wanted to drop this comment from this post from one of my favorite gay bloggers as he celebrates NYC Pride with a reissued post.
Are you out to every single person you know? Is there anyone who does not know your sexual orientation? Do you walk down the street holding your boyfriend's hand? Do you insist on a double bed at a hotel? Do you tell the maitre d' at the restaurant that you are celebrating your anniversary? Do you ask your employer to institute a non-discriminaiton policy? Do you tell your doctor you're gay so that he can start diagnosing correctly? If not, then you have nothing to say.
When I lived in Teh Big City, being 100% Out all the time was an essential part of my identity and life. I felt a kind of safety there that enabled such behavior, there's no better way to put it. Without that safety, when I visited Mom or relations in the sticks? Well, let's just say I wasn't wearing my 'Denver Dyke March' t-shirt every day I vacationed there. Here in the burbs? It's sort of in between. It took me a year to come out to my neighbors, but that had more to do with them and their weird straight swinger vibe I got off them, than shame. My other neighbors? Honestly, I'm not sure they care. Store clerks? Police officers? The guy who comes by to check my gas meter? I'm pretty sure that despite seeing these folks regularly, they don't know my orientation.
It's especially interesting to me because I'm extremely "out" with my religious and political opinions. I don't fear gay-bashers any more than I fear TeaBaggers or rethuglican lobbyists. And yet, I'll bring up my own atheism, or liberalism/progressivism, to people before I will my sexual orientation. Are we just all to puerile? Too afraid? Is it in "bad taste" to say to a stranger at the gas station, "I just had sex with my girlfriend and gosh it was Hot!" How do straight people talk about their sexuality with strangers, day to day?
I am not in the Closet, but the comment really made me think about the last few years of my life, when fighting for my rights as a queer person have taken a back seat to economic justice political activism. Pride is a good time to think about that sort of thing, imho. Your thoughts? And Happy Pride to all of us! All of us who have sex that isn't: within the "holy" bonds of matrimony, and/or for the purpose of procreation by a fecund male, performed infrequently, and poorly, as he top-mounts a female of reproductive age not using any form of birth control or asking for satisfaction, and/or as the male fantasizes to Closeted depictions of gay male orgies in South Beach he didn't get invited to because he's in the Closet and not rich enough to mitigate that with the Beautiful, Popular Gay People of the World.
If you're NOT in that group, then "gay" Pride week/month/whatever is For You.
[Boilerplate to the "davids" of the world: no, of course Pride isn't just about sex. This post sort of is; get over it.]