Department of If I Don't Laugh I'll Cry

Heavy Metal In Baghdad

Odd, weird, kewl, something else? I guess I don’t know.

This is one of those ‘posted without comment’ thingees, but I think I’ll add it to m y Netflix list, just for fun.

who kidnapped Jeralyn Merritt?

Anyone who has been reading TalkLeft since the announcement that Sarah Palin was the VP nominee for the Republicans has probably noticed a change in tone and demeanor in Jeralyn’s posts. She posted a few things about her then posted that she wouldn’t be posting anything about her-then BOOM!!!  Read more 

A miserably and ludicrously inadequate, self-satisfied, and self-deluded "lioness"

koolaidThis, people, is what Leader Nance comes up with when it’s time to justify her stratospheric 9% approval rating. In her speech at Denver, she burbles:

I am very proud of the Democrats in Congress. Working with Majority Leader Harry Reid in the Senate, here are some of our accomplishments:

After years of inaction by Republicans, in our very first act, we passed the 9/11 Commission recommendations to protect the American people. That was just the beginning.

Indeed.

We helped rebuild the Gulf Coast for the survivors of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.

How’s that working out?

We put recovery rebates into the hands of more than 130 million families.

And now that bounce is gone, and we’re more fucked than ever, and the really poor didn’t get a dime anyhow.

We passed legislation to keep hard-working American families in their homes and to keep toxic toys out of the hands of our children.

(Not all toxic toys, though. And not all children. As evidenced by the behavior of our famously free press this primary.)

We increased the minimum wage for the first time in ten years.

We improved fuel efficiency for the first time in 32 years.

We passed the largest college aid expansion since the G.I. Bill 64 years ago.

We passed the largest veterans’ health care funding in the 77 year history of the Veterans Administration.

And, we enacted a new G.I. Bill to thank our veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan by sending them to college.

Wars which are still cheerfullly going on. Some “thanks.”

All this would be a reasonably competent performance for a Congress that wasn’t facing, oh, a completely out-of-control executive (impeachment off the table, sternly worded letters), the trillion-dollar fiasco of death and looting in Iraq (nada*), global warming (nada), the collapse of the credit system (nada), an “health care” system based on the business model of denial of care (nada). And on and on and on.

And you know how Leader Nance wants us to think of her?

“Think of me as a lioness.”

You know Nance, I’m thinking of a lioness right now. I know what a lioness looks like and I know how a lioness acts. And the lioness I’m thinking of? Her name doesn’t begin with “N.”

But I do have one question:  Read more 

Where do we go from here?

So it’s Obiden. I think this sums up everything quite nicely:  Read more 

But, But... Those Are OUR Toys...

… “Give em BACK!!!” —George W. Bush

* * *

Boy— just IMAGINE the hot and tasty US DoD goodies that the Russians are finding as ground score behind the Georgian Army… “Slightly used, dropped once.”

via AFP

CRAWFORD, Texas (AFP) — The White House on Tuesday demanded that Moscow return any US equipment its forces seized in Georgia, amid reports Russian troops grabbed some US military vehicles.

“If the Russians have it, it needs to be returned immediately,” spokesman Gordon Johndroe said as US President George W. Bush followed the Georgia crisis from his ranch near this tiny Texas town.

“But there’s conflicting reports on it right now. We’d certainly expect that the Russians would return any equipment that is US equipment and return it quickly, if, in fact, they do have it,” Johndroe told reporters.

“There’s some, also, indications that they’ve made that assurance. If they’ve made that assurance, they need to honor that commitment, as well,” he said, describing the reports as “too sketchy” as to the material’s location.

Russian forces in Georgia seized five Humvees (High-Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle) that either belong or had belonged to the US military from the port of Poti, witnesses said.


Give ’em BACK!

HAW!!!

No. George is honestly NOT worried one damned bit about some HumVees. We just gave over a shitload of super serious toys, and DARPA
Happy Fun Balls (Google Video Link)
to the Russians, and you can imagine, to the entire NotWest.

Give ’em BACK!!!

Oh, hell that is one of George’s bestest yet.

Oh, gods almighty we are so FUCT.  Read more 

HCAN can't, and furthermore they won't

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree :
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

On waking from an opium-induced sleep, so the story goes, Coleridge hurried to capture on paper the fantastical world he had dreamed [or hallucinated, depending on who you ask]. He was rudely interrupted while at this task, and when he returned to it, all was gone but the fragment we have today.  Read more 

[Pounds forehead on desk]

As a more famous blogger regularly observes, please kill me:

Shifting from his previous opposition to expanded offshore drilling, the Illinois senator told a Florida newspaper he could get behind a compromise with Republicans and oil companies to prevent gridlock over energy.

Republican rival John McCain, who earlier dropped his opposition to offshore drilling, has been criticizing Obama on the stump and in broadcast ads for clinging to his opposition as gasoline prices topped $4 a gallon. Polls indicate these attacks have helped McCain gain ground on Obama.

“My interest is in making sure we’ve got the kind of comprehensive energy policy that can bring down gas prices,” Obama said in an interview with The Palm Beach Post.

“If, in order to get that passed, we have to compromise in terms of a careful, well thought-out drilling strategy that was carefully circumscribed to avoid significant environmental damage — I don’t want to be so rigid that we can’t get something done.

Oh noes!

Those are the mad negotiation skillz that are going to get us universal health care?

And on the question of whether it’s better to be rigid or to get something done, one acronym:  Read more 

So, were the bag designers given retroactive immunity?

This is the actual bag that will be given to attendees at this year’s DNC.

Somebody call for the Bucket Brigade?

UPDATE And Kudos to TalkLeft for the Fourth Amendment tote. — Lambert

When the White House isn't losing emails, it's refusing to open them

It never ends, does it? McClatchy:

A key e-mail that [California Senator Barbara] Boxer wants disclosed is an EPA document that describes how global warming endangers public health and welfare. [Global warming whistleblower Jason] Burnett sent the e-mail to the White House in December. He said Tuesday that he sent it only after making last-minute checks that the agency was ready to release it and the White House Office of Management and Budget was ready to receive it.

The White House asked Burnett to withdraw the e-mail, but he refused. The OMB then declined to open it. By not officially receiving the e-mail, the OMB ensured that it couldn’t be made public.

Well, that’s a new one. What next?  Read more 

It's not like we didn't try to warn you

Lambert, December 28, 2007, Obama Stump Speech Strategy of Conciliation Considered Harmful:

Obama presents himself as unifying, but accountability is what’s needed. Let’s repeat that “reach out” paragraph:

I’ve learned in my life that you can stand firm in your principles while still reaching out to those who might not always agree with you.

Fine words butter no parsnips. What principles are we talking about, here? Off the top of my head:

1. The principle that everyone is equal before the law.

2. The principle that this nation does not torture.

3. The principle that there are three co-equal branches of government.

4. The principle that high government officials should not break the law with impunity.

5. The principle that elections are not stolen

6. The principle that war is not made on fake evidence

[To give but a few examples of how the Conservative Movement violated each principle: 1 Republican Justice Department uses criminal justice system to prosecute Democrats before elections. 2 Abu Ghraib; European gulags; Gitmo; destroyed CIA tapes. 3 Signing statements; Fourth Branch of government. 4 Scooter Libby. 5 Florida 2000; Ohio 2004. 6 Downing Street Memo (full text).]

Check that list, and start crossing off the Republicans whose actions show that they don’t share those principles, and whose principles differ from all progressives, most Democrats, and most Americans, and by the time you’re done, you’ll have about as many Republicans as would fit in an elevator. A very small, dumbwaiter-sized elevator. In fact, when the elevator door opens, you might just end up “reaching out” to empty space.

This isn’t just a matter of a “food fight,” or “disagreements.” These are not abstract agree-to-disagree issues. Violating these principles ought to entail criminal prosecution (destroyed CIA tapes, election theft), impeachment (signing statements), or whatever the remedy is for just plain evil (torture).

So at best, Obama is feeding us highflown, but vacuous rhetoric. At worst, he’ll let the Conservative Movement operatives who drive the Bush administration get away clean, after committing criminal and impeachable offenses with impunity and no accountability of any kind. That’s not the kind of politics we need to achieve a permanent progressive majority.

Sadly No, July 17, 2008, now that Obama is the presumptive nominee:  Read more 

Too fucking little, way too fucking late

AP:

President Bush invoked executive privilege to keep Congress from seeing the FBI report of an interview with Vice President Dick Cheney and other records related to the administration’s leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame’s identity in 2003.

The president’s decision drew a sharp protest Wednesday from Rep. Henry Waxman, chairman of House Oversight Committee, which had subpoenaed Attorney General Michael Mukasey to turn over the documents.

Waxman left little doubt he would soon move for a committee vote to hold Mukasey in contempt of Congress.

Waxman held off an immediate contempt citation of Mukasey, but only as a courtesy to lawmakers not present Wednesday and to give all members a chance to read up on the matter. He made clear that he thinks Mukasey, who requested that Bush invoke executive privilege to shield the records, has earned a contempt citation.

“We’ll act in the reasonable and appropriate period of time,” Waxman said.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! OMG! “Reasonable and appropriate period of time”! Stop it! You’re killing me!  Read more 

A Simple Ode to Obama

Google to release YouTube users' viewing data to Viacom

According to BBC News: a US court ruled that Google must release the viewing history of YouTube users to Viacom in order to comply with copyright infringement laws. Google’s legal counsel said: “We will ask Viacom to respect users’ privacy and allow us to anonymise the logs before producing them under the court’s order.”

Apparently, privacy experts find this ruling a tad, uh, frightening:  Read more 

Mocking Maureen Dowd Gives Me Deep and Lasting Joy

Environmentalists, social activists, feminists, atheists, political junkies… our modern Swifts and Voltaires. George Carlin blended anger and satire to blissful perfection, Grist Magazine is doing it for environmentalism, and Melissa McEwan does it for sexism and racism at Shakesville.

As the Obama euphoria fades, expect much more of this, from 23/6:

The Reader’s Guide to Maureen Dowd  Read more 

George Carlin - RIP

This really makes me sad. I am a huge fan of George Carlin. I will miss his curmudgeonly attitude, his lack of patience for religious stupidity and wonderful use of all the subtleties and absurdities of the English language to unveil our social ills.  Read more 

The DNC's Perfectly Lovely Ladies' Outreach

Riverdaughter’s post today is a hilarious must-read.

Don’t know about you guys, but I’m fine with feminist women using stereotype-based humor like this; some of you may disagree. Similarly, I give far more latitude to men, GLBTs, ethnic, racial and religious groups to satirize their own groups. I freely state I’d be pissed to read something similar on Olbermann’s blog. Riverdaughter’s earned the right to speak so; KO hasn’t. Simple. The whines I often hear about this “double standard” seem either disingenuous or humanity-bereft; I’m never sure which it is.

The US Senate’s Ladies Auxilliary met on Tuesday to discuss women’s issues… [and] finished with a demonstration on scrapbooking campaign memorabilia.

In attendance were Senators Diane Feinstein (CA), Barbara Mikulski (MD), Amy Klobuchar (MN) and Barbara Boxer (CA).  Read more 

Friday Funnies with the Computer-Challenged

Feeling blue? Read the Fez. Snort. I wonder if McStain expects to have a secretary for nuke launching, as he doesn’t know how to press buttons.

Inside the Mindset of Our Corrupt Village Democrats

Hillary Rosen, alleged Hillary Clinton supporter, has an amazing post up on the Huffington Post. It’s not amazing because of what it says about the primary. Instead, it’s an amazing look inside the Village mindset.  Read more 

Future News: Lost Tribe Of Hillary Holdouts Discovered

CNN-FOX-ABC-NBC-CBS-AP-UPI-Reuters-New York Times-Washington Post-Murdoch Syndicate Exclusive
by Katharine Q. Seelye and Julie Bosman. June 2, 2020 - BREAKING NEWS -

The first contact in several years with remnants of a holdout band of Hillary Clinton supporters took place yesterday, with a helicopter flyover identifying the handful of survivors. Unwilling to concede that the 2008 Democratic presidential primary had been fairly conducted, the hardy but dwindling tribe became increasingly isolated during the Obama/Hagel administrations, eschewing television and rumored to be surviving only on home-grown vegetables and the occasional squirrel.  Read more 

New Brave Coalition

Obama sent us the news via Donna that the old Democratic coalition, the one FDR created, is kaput. The new Obama party
is being remade by young voters, urban voters and suburban voters
and of course African Americans.

You would think that this laughable coalition, that guarantees a landslide lose in November, is popular only with the Obama minions. Well, you are wrong. Yesterday, of all people, Digby jumps on the bandwagon. In They  Read more 

WWTSBQ 2.0 - A Neverending Series

Cross-posted from The Global Sociology Blog

My blog bookmark listing is getting thinner every day. That goes along with the shrinking respect I had for some bloggers in the past. Boy has this primary been a reality check. Here is someone who used to be one of my favorite bloggers, Hilzoy, subbing for Kevin Drum at the Washington Monthly :  Read more 

Obama Golf

By popular acclaim, we are offering for your amusement and edification the exciting new game “Obama Golf”!

The rules are simple, and any number can play: To win, change an innocuous Hillary statement into a wankfest-worthy statement in the fewest number of strokes:

Hillary says “We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.”

0. “Assassinated”

1. Black leaders have been assassinated

2. Obama is a black leader

3. She was talking about assassinating Obama

Three strokes, total. (“Teeing up” the initial trigger word does not count as a stroke).  Read more 

Six Degrees of Obama

From Shakesville:

“Briefly, my opinion is that it was an ill-considered statement that warranted an apology, irrespective of intent. FWIW, I don’t think she intended to suggest anything nefarious, but it was not a particularly sensitive example to use to make her point, and careless in its disregard of the history of violence against black leaders. It was inevitable, and of course not unreasonable, that people would consider her competitor Obama within the frame she built, to upsetting results, even if she didn’t specifically mention him.”

So the new rule is Hillary (and Bill, her surrogates, etc.) cannot mention anything that someone might possibly, in some bizarre fashion, connect in some offensive way to Barack Obama within six degrees of separation?

We have a new game for the media and OFB to play!  Read more