I’m not making this up!

Another in the long, long line of xtianists who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk (Bennett, gambling; Limbaugh, Oxycontin; O’Reilly, loofah). This time it’s heavily marketed, branded, and highly collectible “Christian” “artist” Thomas Kinkade, the “painter of light.” The LA Times has the splendidly juicy details:

In sworn testimony and interviews with The Times, some ex-dealers have accused Kinkade—whose dreamily inspirational limited-edition prints are steeped in Christian-oriented themes of faith and family values—of ruining them financially while enriching himself and his business associates.

They and others also described incidents in which an allegedly drunken Kinkade heckled illusionists Siegfried and Roy; cursed a former employee’s wife who came to his side when he fell off a barstool; fondled a startled woman’s breasts at a signing party; and urinated on a Winnie the Pooh figure at the Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim.

Maybe he thought he was Jackson Pollack?

In his letter, Kinkade said the alcohol-related accounts included “exaggerated, and in some cases outright fabricated personal accusations.” He did not address any of the incidents specifically and has declined repeated interview requests.

And, since Kinkade is an xtianist, naturally there’s fraud involved:

Last month, however, an arbitration panel ordered the company to pay $860,000 for defrauding the former owners of two failed Virginia galleries. Kinkade had won three previous arbitration claims, although one of those decisions was reversed in February and sent back to arbitration. Five other claims are pending. Terry Sheppard, a former company vice president who is the “angry ex-employee” Kinkade referred to in this week’s letter, earlier told The Times that he often went to bars and strip clubs with the artist and once heard him utter, “This one’s for you, Walt,” as he relieved himself on the Disney figure.

A clean loofah, Lord?