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Chris Matthews on Fred Thompson: "All my Republicans wear English Leather--Or they wear nothing at all..."

Sweet Jeebus, Yet Another Republican Mancrush!

Via The Real Glenn:

[CHRIS MATTHEWS] Does [Fred Thompson] have sex appeal? I'm looking at this guy and I'm trying to find out the new order of things, and what works for women and what doesn't.

Can you smell the English leather on this guy, the Aqua Velva, the sort of mature man's shaving cream, or whatever, you know, after he shaved? Do you smell that sort of -- a little bit of cigar smoke? You know, whatever.

Whatever, indeed. Honestly, can you, er, top this?

Leaving aside all that subliminal stuff about authoritarians, Daddy figures, and leather...

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Submitted by [Please enter a... (not verified) on

This guy seems obsessed with masculinity. He drooled over GW's "manly" uniformed appearance on the deck of the Lincoln (I think he really got off on the codpiece), squeals like a school girl over Rudy's macho demeanor, and he's almost orgasmic over Fred Thompson in cowboy boots and pick up truck. Yet he hates Hilliary, Feinstein and Pelosi unabashedly. Is there a real back story here?

Perhaps Matthew's fantasy is to get down and do some really manly things in a manly way with men. I think Matthew's father and boyfriend might have the same name; Daddy!

Submitted by [Please enter a... (not verified) on

Isn't Chris Matthews the guy on Dateline who makes criminals out of online chatters by using over-age decoys posing as underage teenagers? 'Nuff said.

HERE IS WHAT I WROTE TO CHRISTOPHER:

With a face that only a mother could love, I don't think so. He may very well have other attributes, but "sex appeal" is not one of them.

If I were you, I would "shy away" from such questions. Might make you "look funny."

Conversely, Mr. Edwards is "too pretty." We don't need a Ken Doll for President.

What we need is a "Macho, Macho, Man" with a good head on his shoulders. You fit the bill, and beautifully so.

EDWARD EUGENE BASKETT's picture
Submitted by EDWARD EUGENE B... on

ANN COULTER ON HARDBALL:

DEAR CHRISTOPHER -

I had every intention to wait a few more days to write this letter regarding the woman whose mind has run amok, but I can contain myself no longer. I have a few questions of my own.

Why the dark glasses which covered approximately one third of her face? From what, or whom, is she hiding? Too much of the devil's cup the night before her interview? Perhaps picking up the wrong "cubby bear" for a brief encounter? Maybe her inability to withstand the piercing, laser-beam look in your own eyes?

Why the incessant pushing back of her hair? I once knew a drug addict that did the same thing. Has she never heard of bobby pins or, better still, a ponytail? One would go well with her face.

This woman is living proof as to why straight men turn gay. What man in his right mind would stand for her constant, nasal-enhanced diatribe?

She is exactly why I keep reminding men that Eve was a bad apple, rotten to the core!

EDWARD EUGENE BASKETT's picture
Submitted by EDWARD EUGENE B... on

Recently, I received a rancorous note regarding Christopher Matthews. I responded in like manner:

DEAR SIR OR MADAM -

Your unkind remarks regarding Christopher are not appreciated, nor will they be forwarded to him.

Simply stated, you are full of the devil, and you need the Lord Jesus Christ to cast him out of you. No offense. Just my Pentecostal upbringing coming to the fore. I have this uncanny ability to recognize the devil when I see him.

I pray the scales will be lifted from your eyes so you can see what a peaches and cream guy we have in Christopher. When it happens, please let me know.

EDWARD EUGENE BASKETT's picture
Submitted by EDWARD EUGENE B... on

DEAR CHRISTOPHER -

Apparently, you, Cindy Sheehan, Mr. Older-Man, and I are "birds of a feather," at least when it comes to the war in Iraq.

The two words that best describe this mess are UTTER INSANITY. The same two words also apply to the man running it!

I have come up with a formula that will explain everything: 100% of the 27% of people who "approve" of the war have some financial interest in it, i. e. oil, the industries that make the weapons, venders of all sorts, as well as the jobs created.

I know a woman who was "tickled to death" that her husband would get up at 4 AM and drive all the way from Riverside to El Segundo, California, six days a week, to X-ray highly sensitive parts for use in this war. She loved "all that overtime" he was making. Finally, he dropped dead from the stress he endured. She had him skinned to help out burn victims. A lovelier woman you've never met.

I am tremendously pleased with the "kinder, gentler" Christopher I have seen emerging over the past weeks and months. Remember, the mark of a truly professional hit man is one who smiles when he pulls the trigger. You do it so well.

Please speak to little Tuck about his hair, you know, "clippers on the sides, a little more off the top."

EDWARD EUGENE BASKETT's picture
Submitted by EDWARD EUGENE B... on

Yes, folks, you heard it here first.

Christopher Matthews absolutely should be our next President.

Why? Because he is free from the taint of political hypotheses and animal magnetism, radiating, as it were, a beam of light throughout the world which illuminates the individual's freedom of choice while, at the same time, precluding the evils of political tyranny.

I realize this announcement will cause consternation in many circles, especially among "professional politicians." But, that's ok. These "fookers" need to be made angry!