Cheney Seeks Sixth Deferment From Bush's Vietnam Analogy

Who the fuck told Bush he gets to talk about Vietnam? What crayon-chewing moranavich greenlit that comparison? The author of "When Douchebags Explode?" What genius at the White House okayed that talking point?--oh, yeah, I almost forgot Rove, who can point to a shitstain on his pants and tell you he's been constipated for a week. Karl Rove, who advised Nero to lecture his fellow Romans about the importance of fire safety...and did the neat trick of having King Henry the VIII speak about family values to the stump where one of his wives' heads used to be.

Get 'em, Karl...for only having a couple of tricks you sure got a lot of blood on your hands.

Perhaps now that he's feeling braver than when he had vodka in his liver and coke in his snot, Chancellor Bush would like to re-invade Vietnam, which might be poor timing because they kind of have their own thing going on, not that they don't miss our bombs and napalm and STDs or anything like that. When he was in the Texas Air Guard George more than likely thought the Khmer Rouge was what his mom put on her face so daddy didn't puke at breakfast, but that doesn't matter. He who runs away gets to make up some utter bullshit some other day.

Psst: George W. Bush is the loudest, dumbest dry drunk I have ever listened to in my life, and I've known more than a few of them, having bartended for many years. They're the ones who keep coming back to the bar after they've stopped drinking alcohol, because its like a second home to them, or the only place where they know anybody or maybe they're aliens who yearn to mate with a soda gun--bless them, dry drunks are even more boring sober because when they were drinking they at least--at some magical point--had to put booze in their mouths, thus giving everyone else in the bar upwards of a three to four second break from their windbaggery. Bush must've been one heckuva asshole drunk 'cuz he's an all-league asshole dry-drunk. Not a scientific evaluation, but there it is regardless.

Nothing ruins a quiet little bar quicker than a putz who raises his (or her, but it's usually a guy) voice and starts mangling philosophy and history and shopping tips at the top of their mouth organ when all you wanted to do was sip on a shot of Tres Generations to layer over that tug on the spliff you had in the parking lot.

How is it, after all these years with this colon wrangler in office, that not one--not one!--reporter jumped up in his chair and shouted "Shut the fuck up, you sack of beaver shit! Shut the fuck up before our country kills itself just to get away from your inane, pathetic blatherings. Shut. the. fuck. up!" Who cares what happens next? That moment would shine like ten thousand stars doing the Hustle.

Not one White House reporter in this country has balls or a sense of drama or a lick of character or is worth anything like a damn. Sit down, Helen, I'm not talking about you.

Just wanted to share that.

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UPDATE: The Swamp asks Why would Bush cite 'The Quiet American'? in his speech to reassure us that everyone will die if we stop killing Sunni & Shiites in the Land of Nod. A Mr. Tom T thinks it must be the work of 1969 radicals.

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