If you have "no place to go," come here!

Brainless booby in topless carwash


Meet Derrick Belcher, a 45-year-old from Chunchula, Ala. Belcher is a truck driver, knife collector, "absolute Libertarian" and previously owned a topless car wash -- that is, until the government shut down his business, he claims.

According to, Belcher is so upset with the government, he's petitioning for Alabama to secede from the United States.

Alabama enacted its anti-obscenity law in 1998, prohibiting private businesses and clubs from allowing breasts, genitalia and buttocks to be shown for entertainment.

Belcher's topless car wash fell under this umbrella.

So, Alabama shut this guy down -- and he wants Alabama to secede from the United States. Alrighty then.

NOTE For those who came in late, the headline is a riff on this famous headline.

UPDATE Similar incident in Maine, although a coffee shop, not a car wash.