(Originally published on February 15, 2006, but since Herr Rove, pursuing his usual tactic of attacking the enemy's strength, has once more sought to clothe his Emperor in the raiment of "moral clarity" [DCOW], I thought I'd repost it this evening.)

I heard on NPR that it's Steve Jones's birthday. As it turns out, it isn't, but in his honor:

The classics are always the best, aren't they?  Read more…

via one "doncjesuis" at the crack den. Written by hand, it is said, not run through a MadLibs generator:

Stung by the bleak findings of a congressional audit of progress in Iraq, the Pentagon has asked that some of the negative assessments be revised.

Please change the following words:

"sectarian" to "marshmallow"; "violence" to "balloons";
"deadly" to "gummi"; "explosive device" to "candygram";
"hopeless" to "sunshiny"; "surge" to "jamboree";
"death squads" to "meanies"; "horrific" to "sparkly";
"militias" to "clowns"; "cleric" to "ballerina";
"corpses" to "teddy bears"; "curfew" to "bedtime";
"torture" to "tickling"; "assassination" to "playdate";
"quagmire" to "orgy"; "shortage" to "orgasm";
"power drill" to "peacock feather"

"…concluding that after months of gummi marshmallow balloons in Iraq, the situation appears to be sunshiny. There has been an uptick in balloons by rival clowns, and even the police are thought to be little more than

From Reuters comes this story of just how much more credibility the right-wing "security" theatre gives to authoritarians it finds sympathetic: Catholic pilgrims to Lourdes (remember "The Song of Bernadette"?) aren't allowed to bring back holy water from the spring. But the Church can plant some in every seat on the plane.