Annie talks to the bureaucrats who come between you and your doctor
Via Dr. Grumpy. I have to quote the whole thing because it's so damn good:
Yesterday I was walking by Annie's office, and heard her losing it over the speaker phone. And, as always, she was totally awesome.
Annie: "I'm calling because you people denied an MRI on a stroke patient?"
Pinhead: "Before we discuss this, I have to inform you that this is a recorded line."
Annie: "Oh, good, hopefully someone will actually be listening to me then. Thus far it hasn't happened."
Pinhead: "Let me look up the tracking number... Okay. I have to inform you that we are unable to approve this study. Your doctor will need to make a peer-to-peer call."
Annie: "Oh, now THAT's a surprise."
Pinhead: "What do you mean?"
Annie: "Is this line really being recorded?"
Pinhead: "Yes. It's to improve customer satisfaction."
Annie: "Oh, goody, because I'm sure not satisfied, and neither is the doctor, or the patient. Your company, and whoever is listening, never approves anything. In fact I can say that 100% of the time you require peer-to-peer review."
Pinhead: "We do this to save our customers money on unnecessary testing."
Annie: "Okay. Then let's just stop wasting each others time. Forget the intake coordinator, forget you. Since your only job is apparently to tell me that my doctor needs to call your doctor, couldn't your company save money by firing you?"
Pinhead: "Um, I hadn't..."
Annie: "Think about it. You have benefits and a salary, right? I mean you're not doing this as a volunteer job, are you?"
Pinhead: "No, but I..."
Annie: "So wouldn't your company save money by firing you and instead getting a computer that automatically denies every damn test and sends a fax telling us to call for a peer-to-peer review? Then we can just let the doctors talk directly to each other from the beginning, which is what you bozos want anyway. Think of the money saved by cutting all of your jobs."
Pinhead: "Oh, but you can't mean that?"
Annie: "Oh but I do mean that. And I'm glad we're being recorded. Let's consider the current situation. You are basically a worthless automaton. A computer could do your job for far less. And at this point you've incurred the wrath of all the medical professionals in the country as well as the patients. You and all of your superiors ought to be out of a job due to your blatant inefficiency. And don't think we don't save your denial forms, and your names, and document it all in the chart."
Annie: "Nothing personal you understand, just a suggestion. I'll have my doctor call your doctor. Have a nice day".
Pinhead: "No, wait! I..."
Annie hung up.
Yes. That's the industry that the administration, the press, the FKDP, and the A list want to bail out. Yay!