If you have "no place to go," come here!

$500 million, and White House goes to Bloomberg in record bid at Sotheby's

Bill Press:

NEW YORK CITY, June 21 - A new landmark was reached for New York auction houses today as Sotheby's reported a record bid of $500 million for the Oval Office. According to anonymous sources, the winning White House bid was placed by New York political office collector Michael Bloomberg, who also held the previous record of $155 million paid for the New York mayoral office. "I could never capture the Oval Office the old-fashioned way," Bloomberg told CNN's Wolf Blitzer, "so why not buy it?

Of course, if Bloomberg needed to be paid, you'd have to ask who's cutting the checks:

One thing for sure: Unlike every other candidate, Bloomberg won't have to spend a lot of time on the phone begging for money. He's told friends he'd be willing to spend $500 million of his own cash. For a man worth $5 billion, that may be no big deal, but it'll be enough to get him on the ballot in all 50 states and generate a highly visible and very competitive campaign - which puts the fear of God in both Democrats and Republicans.

It's unlikely an independent candidate could win the White House. Yet, with public trust of politicians at an all-time low, this could be the ideal time for a Bloomberg candidacy. By offering the attractive, albeit naive, option of governing from the middle, he would siphon votes from both major parties. Yet it's the Democrats who have the most to lose.

At this moment - with the war in Iraq, the immigration mess, and George Bush's poll numbers in the toilet - Democrats have an excellent shot at winning everything in 2008. Things are so bad for Republicans, how could Democrats possibly lose? Here's how: Put Michael Bloomberg on the ballot - with, let's say, Chuck Hagel as his running mate - and all bets are off.

Bloomberg, in fact, could wreak so much havoc for Democrats, you have to wonder . . . We know how much money Michael Bloomberg's willing to spend to become president. But how much is Karl Rove paying him to run?

The courtiers at Versailles on the Potomac are desperate to hang onto their privileges. The shouting heads want to continue to shout. The winger think tanks want to continue to tank. The Christianists want to keep sucking on the government tit. The militarists want more expensive weapons systems that don't work. And nobody wants to give power to the DFH types who called their shot on the the trillion dollar strategic disaster that is Iraq. And the Republican operatives will to anything to ensure "continuity of government."

That's what's driving the Bloomberg boomlet, and make no mistake. Bloomberg might well be personally honest -- and not in it, say, so that a one-time $500 million investment nets out well for him in, say, tax policy -- but that makes no matter. A Bloomberg candidacy is the last, best hope of the scumsucking Beltway elite, and you can believe they know it.

No votes yet


Ruth's picture
Submitted by Ruth on

Hey, while he's teasing everyone, don't think that the terraist funds are going to keep slipping off to Crawlforth, TX. It's not a bad move if Bloomberg can get those GoPerverts sending a little his way.

If Bloomberg does run, he may take a little of the fiscal responsibility edge off the Democratic party's appeal. If he runs.


dr sardonicus's picture
Submitted by dr sardonicus on

Although I'm not convinced that Bloomberg will run, methinks he could be a formidable candidate indeed. The primary stumbling block to independent and third-party candidacies is under-capitalization; this would be no problem for Bloomberg, who might be willing to spend a billion on the White House if he thought it was worth it. Also, there's a fair number of people who have had it with the Republicans but wouldn't vote for a Democrat if hell froze over. There's also this strange attitude among many Americans that the super-wealthy are somehow above corruption. People don't stop to think how that wealth was acquired in the first place; also, these days, even the billionaires act as if they don't have enough.

The odds are still against Bloomberg winning, though, and even if he did, he'd probably be an ineffective President. Presidents usually need to bring some Congresspeople in behind them to be effective, and there's a good chance that Congress would turn their backs on Bloomberg the way the Minnesota Legislature did to the unaffiliated Jesse Ventura.

I'd be curious to see how the rest of America will react to a Presidential ballot consisting of the mayor of New York City, the ex-mayor of New York City, and a sitting senator from New York. That's why I think Fred Thompson's someone to watch out for. Thompson wouldn't have to lay out any policy details - all he'd have to do is drive around the hinterlands in his red pickup and run against the "East Coast elites". They still eat that sort of thing up in the boondocks.

...for the rest of us