If you have "no place to go," come here!

"39 Reasons Living In Maine Ruins You For Life"

I know, clickbait headline, but I read it anyhow. They missed one:

#40. No hydrocarbons to extract.

So we may come out of all this with our water and soil intact, assuming the local notables don't fill up the state with landfills.

Credit due, however, the author links to The Humble Farmer (the asshole UMaine administrators threw him off the radio some years ago). Here's a sample of his dry humor:

In the 1950s, Bernard's father, Giant Davis, bought lobsters on a dock in Port Clyde. One day a fellow came alongside at low water and hollered up:

"Hey Giant. You wanna buy some lobsters?"


"Why not?"

"I wouldn't know who to pay."*


You and I cannot appreciate the driest story we ever heard because we didn't understand it. Maine is full of people whose ability with the oblique dry phrase will never be applauded because the rest of us will never figure out what their words really meant.

Very true!

Average: 5 (1 vote)


Submitted by lambert on

... a literal LOL.

It's sort of the reserve for me (on the bus). Happy to leave, happy to return, but happiest of all to be able to leave again.

Barmitt O'Bamney's picture
Submitted by Barmitt O'Bamney on

what, no peat bogs in Maine? Pshaw! Before Adam's bastardy is all done extracting hydrocarbons from the Earth they'll be back to burning peat again. Sit tight on your patch there, Mr. Strether - there's gold in them bogs!

ek hornbeck's picture
Submitted by ek hornbeck on

No imported wood in Maine. They have checkpoints.

ek hornbeck's picture
Submitted by ek hornbeck on

How the heck do you do that? Now lobster bait you just put in a big barrel in the the shack to uh... ferment. That's the ticket.

ek hornbeck's picture
Submitted by ek hornbeck on

Now that's to the point, ayuh.

Been misting a bit 'round he'ah.

ek hornbeck's picture
Submitted by ek hornbeck on

(Women go hehhhhhhhh) I miss it a lot.