"39 Reasons Living In Maine Ruins You For Life"
I know, clickbait headline, but I read it anyhow. They missed one:
#40. No hydrocarbons to extract.
So we may come out of all this with our water and soil intact, assuming the local notables don't fill up the state with landfills.
Credit due, however, the author links to The Humble Farmer (the asshole UMaine administrators threw him off the radio some years ago). Here's a sample of his dry humor:
In the 1950s, Bernard's father, Giant Davis, bought lobsters on a dock in Port Clyde. One day a fellow came alongside at low water and hollered up:
"Hey Giant. You wanna buy some lobsters?"
"I wouldn't know who to pay."*
You and I cannot appreciate the driest story we ever heard because we didn't understand it. Maine is full of people whose ability with the oblique dry phrase will never be applauded because the rest of us will never figure out what their words really meant.